To overcome the problem of toxicity we need to be able to understand the people who do the damage and why they do what they do. There is a very common question that is asked when confronted by harm done and in relation to people who it is claimed have done the harm but who appear innocent. That question is “why would anyone do such a thing”?
Note: all this information is the author’s opinions only. Readers need to form their own informed opinions after doing their own investigation.
That question “why would anyone do such a thing”? is put forward more often than not by the toxic offenders themselves. They know that non-toxic people, in considering harm being done, want to see a motive. When they are confronted by people who seem to have no motive they are reluctant to accept that the people being accused have done the harm. It is toxic people who do harm to others, unsuspecting others, for once a person understands what is being attempted they can stand against the whole mob and win. And it is not the nebulous, seemingly trivial “such a thing”, but serious harm and death to an unsuspecting person, which at this point in time is still the vast majority of the population of the earth. Furthermore you will find as I have found, that it is not some scruffy looking person that fits the stereotype of a criminal that we are talking about. I have seen people who are well dressed, well mannered, polite, wealthy, very wealthy.. professionals, living and thriving in upper middle class mansions and more, who sometimes even appear saintly.. and unbelievable as it appears these people are actively involved in foul game play. These people actively and aggressively also train their children in the ways of doing serious harm. Toxic people are not confined to one class of people. They span the whole of society; they can be found in every walk of life but they never do the work of harm alone. They are all networked. We need to understand these people, who they are and why they harm others and how. We need to describe them and their action but not in any airy-fairy psychological terms. We need to understand them in real biological terms. We need to appreciate how problems arise in the body. We need to understand how and why those problems lead to hate and why power addictions develop. They are two faced and evil and there is a tendency to see this as a psychological problem but in reality it is biological. Here again it is all about biology. Certainly it involves the biology of the brain but also the rest of the body.
From what I have seen toxicity does not appear to develop in adulthood. I have seen two case of juveniles being pushed to toxicity in their early adolescence. Most commonly though toxicity (or in their jargon as “being evil”) is developed at the grass roots level in children as young as eight or ten years old and sometimes even younger. They are targeted by other toxic people, often other toxic children are involved but always there are toxic adults behind the scenes. The children that are targeted have certain latent tendencies to begin with. Without these tendencies existing in the child, it cannot be pushed into becoming toxic (evil). Thus not all children can be thus corrupted. The tendencies needed to drive a child to become evil may begin to take shape early in a child’s life, even soon after birth. I doubt thought that genetics has anything to do with it. It has been suggested to me that these tendencies may come from a previous life. I can’t answer that because I don’t know, maybe and maybe not. However I can see that a child can experience an environment in which these tendencies can develop. I suspect that few children would become evil without recruitment, even with the tendencies. Recruitment is seen as possibly the single most important activity in which the toxic mob engages and the first part of that process is the stressing of the parent as to render them unable to properly parent their children. And foul means are used unashamedly to aid the fruitfulness of the recruitment process at all stages. It is extremely destructive because it is the complete destruction of the child. To make a child evil they distort the child’s ability to feel pleasure in the normal healthy way that a human being finds pleasure. As a result the child can no longer find normal somatic rest i.e., basal metabolism. The most distressing of all however, is that a non-toxic woman’s child can be influenced indirectly and not only “right under her nose” but also utilizing that non-toxic parent as an instrument as to develop latent tendencies in at least one of her children. Only if the non-toxic mother or non-toxic father knows what is involved can they prevent this from happening.
The children who develop latent conditions fall into three categories but here again not all children in a family will be affected.
- First category is those children who have one controlling and manipulative (toxic) parent who is underhandedly maltreating the other non-toxic parent. They may be still married or divorced. And often in divorce the treatment is worse if they have children and cannot avoid some level of contact with their ex-spouse. Mostly the maltreated non-toxic parent is the mother but it is not always the case. Husbands are also maltreated by controlling and manipulative (toxic) wives. Indeed often the toxic parent(s) and /or other relatives of the toxic spouse join in the maltreatment of their partner, whether wife or husband.
- A second category is those children whose parents are divorced and who are involved with new partners or even new friends that may be toxic. These people are also very vulnerable.
- Lastly there are those child whose parents are both controlling and manipulative or in other words both toxic. Here too one parent may be maltreating the other or both may be involved in a power struggle and as a result underhandedly maltreating one another. I have also seen cases where the two target others around them so work as a team in doing harm. And whether maltreating each other or not, they are all united in their efforts to harm people outside of the family unit. That may harm people who are not blood relatives but they may also harm those in the extended family. However there are also cases where the parents may be victimizing one of their own children and using the victimized child as the bunny to train one or more of their other children. Controlling manipulative people always have a bad influence on their children because they always create relational problems owing to the very ways in which they themselves relate to others. These types of parents see toxicity in their children as a boon. It is recruitment, adding to the numbers of their like-minded kind. The spread of toxicity, which means greater numbers of toxic /controlling manipulative and seriously antisocial people in the society, is in the interests of every toxic person.
I want to add here that there may be situations where both parents are non-toxic and who still have some of their children develop latent tendencies that can lead them to toxicity. It is possible that one or both of the parents can be troubled by others either in the extended family or outside of the family but I don’t know of any. That doesn’t mean they don’t exist but I can only write about my findings.
I will use this situation to also present the case of anxiety. Anxiety is the nature of stress for the greater part and it needs to be discusses as it is also a basis for many diseases. However specifically here anxiety in the caregiver, and again in the most part it is in the non-toxic mother that gives rise to latent tendencies in the child. I will not deal with the toxic parent as it is their nature even without anxiety that can create latent tendencies in some of their children. However because a person is toxic does not except them from maltreatment. Indeed I have not only seen widespread maltreatment of toxic people by others with whom they are related, but furthermore their death brought about because it “needed to happen”. That is to say some foul game that was in progress needed some condition to be brought about and such condition could be achieved by some particular person’s death. These people may be associated and “like-minded but that does not protect them from “their own people”. They can and do destroy one another without batting an eyelid.
I will develop an example here that can then be used further in the next section on heart disease in women. There are many ways to develop anxiety because anxiety depends on the issues created. As I showed in the previous posting a woman can be made anxious through fear and worry. A relative gives a copy of the key to the house to the criminals and then brings them in the vicinity. The woman, who is relationally entangled with them will become aware of danger but will not be able to ascertain the nature of the danger. And as danger is not an issue that we can just dismiss by saying”oh I’ll just think about it later”. She will urgently think it through in order to arrive at some solution. However she does not have enough information. A part of the problem is that as the danger is created by some third party, of whom the woman has no conscious knowledge. An untrained person does not have enough ability to investigate what is going on. So additional ideas presented such as “don’t know what to do about it” have an impact. I will revisit the anxiety type of the fear and worry mix later. Here I will show an example of anxiety that is a mix of the emotions of anger and worry. How can the mother be angered and in such a way as to create worry as well? Again there are many and specific issues that create anger, just as there are that create fear. I will use on that I have seen a large number of times. This example uses a pedophile in the game play.
How can a pedophile be used to create anger in the mother? Let us say that the mother is a working mother and she has a toddler that she needs minded while she goes to work. For simplicity I will only say that the husband, who is toxic has his own reasons for wanting to stress his wife. It might be to stop her from working and becoming financially independent but it might also be for any other number of reasons. To begin the woman has to find a baby-sitter so the chief offender has to make sure that she unwittingly chooses a toxic baby-sitter to mind her child. But he needs to look like an outside party. He wants his wife to seemingly find the baby-sitter on her own. How will he do that? Every toxic person is a part of the sub-culture, the modern day underworld –the network of networks of toxic people. Thus every toxic person is interconnected either directly or indirectly through go-betweens, which I will discuss later, to their like-minded counterparts. These networked people are what they call “their friends” or “their people”. If you hear someone say “where would you be without your friends” run a mile! Through these “friends” they trade and exchange “services” so finding a toxic baby-sitter is a piece of cake. He gives her the contact that his wife will have made, as for instance to an agency that finds baby-sitters for working mothers. Through what appears to be an independent source the toxic baby-sitter will be introduced to his wife -not through him. And he will allow his wife to make the choice herself but to help her make that choice the husband will use one or two of the usual “procedures”. For one thing he will have given the toxic baby-sitter a lot of information about his wife. So for instance the husband will tell the desired toxic baby-sitter his wife’s likes and dislikes, her interests and her views on child rearing etc. The baby-sitter will then be able to make “the right noises” at an interview as to strike an instant rapport with his wife. His wife will believe the woman a stranger who has similar views and opinions as her own so so may see the woman as suitable. However even with this information she may still not prove to be the best of the bunch and toxic people leave nothing to chance. The devil is not lucky as many are lead to believe. He just does his homework thoroughly before the event. And this means he will use a procedure here as well. The procedure that he will use will make doubly sure that rapport is created and created strongly. This procedure employs a very creative use of anxiety. Axiety is used to manufacture all manner of things, such as consent and trust, but in this case he uses anxiety to make the wife choose the “right” baby-sitter by manufacturing rapport with one particular baby-sitter only.
If the husband is toxic you can bet your bottom dollar that he is already maltreating his wife. Most toxic people begin maltreating their partners from the very word ‘go’! Thus the wife would already have been “introduced” and made anxious through the “services of” a GCI (gun-carrying individual) or two or three. He will use this man to do what he has done countless times before, to make his wife anxious. And he will continue to make her anxious for every baby-sitter’s visit, except for the one he desires to be hired. And remember it is malicious intent that makes the GCI’s presence an issue. So by the intent he holds, he manipulates the situation. And he is given information each time a baby sitter enters his home by the very criminals he uses who are outside with a vantage view of the house or with the services of a toxic neighbor. If the person is visible, they will also not stand out. They simply appear to be someone sitting in the park with a friend or walking a dog or watering their front lawn or whatever is going to make him appear ordinary. No matter how the “surveillance” is done, the person who is there to pass on information will not arouse anyone’s suspicions. When the “right” baby-sitter arrives the husband will simply call off the GCI and with his departure the wife will relax and feel good again. And by “call off” he doesn’t need to actually have them leave, only to stop holding criminal intent. If he wants his wife to retain higher mental perception then he may keep the CGIs nearby but make them less threatening. Remember all of this can be manipulated simply by the ideas that can be and are presented to her. Fear can become simply “feel a bit hot” and fear means she lacks proper discrimination so fear is advantageous to the foul play in progress. However as this good feeling coincides with the arrival of the desired baby-sitter or more particularly with this woman’s short presence in her home, the wife will attribute her good feeling to the presence of the baby-sitter. To reinforce this situation her husband will have verbalized something along the lines of “let your feeling be your guide” or “you’ll know the right one because it will feel right” etc. These words will not be something he made up but words that he has heard his wife utter on a variety of occasions. If he uses her wordsas a presentation then she will overwhelmingly believe them to be her own thoughts when they occur in her mind. The presentation of ideas is not made wildlybut is crafted in the most cunning way. He will know when the right woman has arrived and even how long she’s been in his house, even if he is not present because he has “a watcher” outside the house! The husband could even be called by the toxic baby sitter herself before she goes in and after she comes out so no third party is necessary as a watcher. She may even call or be called by the husband on her mobile to confirm any detail because such conversation is made using wording that appears to be unrelated to what is going on in the house. The wife will not assume anything odd by the woman getting an “unexpected call” on her mobile! If she adds, “I’m sorry, I should have turned it off” at the end of the call then she would looked even more credible.
Once hired the toxic baby sitter will at all times continue to look good, be above suspicion, and treat the child perfectly well. She will become the sort of employee that an employer find totally dependable and who soon becomes indispensible. Like the vast majority of toxic people she will maintain a good public face and hold ‘excellent credentials’ with respect to their work. She will be neatly dressed, be well-spoken and well behaved. She will aim to be indistinguishable from a real good person, a humane person. Toxic people may look good but they hide ugliness beneath the appearances. Looking good and doing a job well are the very means that give toxic people the ability to gain and maintain the support of everyone around their victim and of course ‘access’ to the person that they wish to harm; Even more than that, they gain access to the person’s loved ones and /or possessions as well. They may even become the victim’s confidants if they “win” sufficient trust. And they will quickly secure the support of all others around the victim because of the good impression that they make.
It is very important to note here too how much ESP plays a role. Without ESP foul game play would not be possible. While people do not realize that an idea or thought “in their head” is not necessarily of their own making but a perception made by someone else in relationship , then they can become influenced by the very ideas presented to them. Believing the ideas to be their own judgement and reason, they unwittingly act upon them. So harm done to the victim by the villains is attributed to the victimes by the reason that “these are your thoughts”, once the possibility of ESP is excluded of course. And under the medical misinformation that abounds in the world today such reasoning sounds convincing not only to innocent friends and relatives of the victim but to the victim themselves! This comes on top of another underlying problem and that is that most people do not appreciate that everyone’s interpersonal environment is different, and often vastly different, despite the same physical environment. So if the victim complains to their friends and relatives, then the victims themselves are mostly likely to be found at fault.
You may ask what if the mother does not employ the “right” baby-sitter? No sweat! The husband and his toxic “friends” will simply distress the new baby-sitter until she leaves. Then the process is repeated again until the wife chooses the right one. Thus unbeknown to the mother she has employed a toxic baby-sitter to mind her child while she is at work and to have full access to her house and belonging as well. This toxic baby-sitter can now be used to violate the mother and only the mother is directly injured but her child is used in the game play. Her child will suffer an injury, i.e., become distressed because when a child’s mother is injured, and ongoing anxiety is really an injury, then the child is inescapably affected.
The first thing that is done is to manufacture trust so that the toxic baby-sitter gains the mother’s trust quickly. Essentially this is done by causing the mother to have a good feeling, after another period of anxiety, and such a good feeling is made to coincide with the arrival of the baby-sitter. Once again the GCIs as “seeming people in the street going about their business” are used to make the wife anxious. And notice here too the wording. “Going about their business” is true but their business is crime! Toxic people always use the truth because they need to get past a person’s defenses. We instinctively know when we are told the truth or a lie. In this case the pedophile that is going to be a part of the foul game play can be used. To use the pedophile the husband needs to arrange for “an introduction”. This has to be done anyway in order to trouble the mother later so I will discuss it here. This introduction is achieved when they get the mother to notice the pedophile in the presence of the baby-sitter and/or her husband. However as usual she will be assisted to see the pedophile only as someone in the street.
To get the mother to see the pedophile, the toxic baby-sitter may lead the mother as to cause her to stand by an open window or the pedophile may make some unusual loud noise so as to cause the woman to look out. Alternatively the baby-sitter may run out into the street just as the mother is leaving and stop her outside her house, before she drives off or walks to the station, with the excuse that she forgot to ask her something. Whatever incident is used, it is made to coincide with the time the pedophile drives up, parks across the road or down the road a bit but always in full view of the mother. She sees him as “just someone in the street” as he gets out of his car and walks away down the street. He does not do anything out of the ordinary. Even if he makes a loud noise his action will appear ordinary. Whatever the mother sees should only attract the woman’s attention momentarily and nothing more. As whatever she sees appears ordinary she soon loses interest. Thus they attract the woman’s interest and attention too briefly for her to remember the man. And note too that while the mother’s attention is briefly summond, an idea can be presented to her that will not become conscious because it will not attract enough attention. Her attention is captured by whatever is there in her physical environment. Alternatively an idea that depicts the action can be used and made use of later. For example “who is he” may be presented. This reasonably seems to be her own thinking. How can it be used later? By a small tonal difference, in “who is”. “he”, so it becomes a question and answer and one relevant to what is going on at that later stage. The baby-sitter can of course make direct reference to the pedophile here without suspicion because it is the woman’s neighborhood and not her own. So a variation of “do you know him?” can be used. As for example “does he usually make a lot of noise?” Of course the mother will answer no because she has never seen the man before. However she will also arrive at the conclusion that the baby-sitter doesn’t know him. He is seen as a stranger both to the mother and the baby-sitter but unbeknown to the mother he is not a stranger to the baby-sitter, who is the woman about to take charge over her child. And the baby-sitter does not just passively know him. She and the pedophile are partners in crime and both known to the woman’s husband as well. Alternatively the woman’s husband and the baby-sitter may not know the pedophile directly but only know of him because of course a go-between could be used to connect the three. Some women may feel very mildly concerned and rightfully so as the baby-sitter is bringing into hers and her child’s presence, a criminal who would do harm to children and indeed has done so in the past, and maybe also in the present. However she does not have sufficient knowledge of what the situation entails, because the only evidence she has is insightful and that avenue she is discouraged from having any credence. Thus she finds no reason for her concern and dismisses the gut feeling and the associated concern. And she dismisses it also because in the present moment no danger is posed. There is no issue here. It is all just appearances!
Ironically enough the pedophile can then be used to artificially develop trust in the mother for the toxic baby-sitter. This is achieved with the help of the chief offender and benefactor of the game play, who in this case is the toxic spouse. Without the chief offender and his strong relationship with the “target” nothing can be achieved because there would be no ESP and hence the ability to present ideas in mind. One common procedure is to have the baby-sitter arrive a few minutes late on an important occassion . This means the mother, who is anxious to get to work on time, will put her anxiety down to being kept waiting. And the husband will look to gain information from his wife as to her commitments at work so they will choose a morning when she really needs to be at work early. It is yet another example of how information is power.
The mother is made anxious by a pedophile outside the house with a key to get in and possibly also a gun in his possession. The toxic spouse can then present an idea that sounds benign when originally given, as for instance a parting remark when leaving the house to go to work. This is a seed idea such as “take care” and as he will use it commonly that she does not realize its true purpose. Ordinarily the words can be made and there is nothing that follows them. Under present conditions however these parting words helps make her very uneasy but mother is focused on getting to work on time for a very important meeting, so she is most likely to attribute her anxiety to the possibility of being late for her work commitments. Fear and worry here are the nature of her anxiety. However the ideas in mind do not point to the real cause of her anxiety.
Here we have the first inkling of the effect of the mother’s anxiety on her child. The mother’s mental distraction has a domino effect. Her distraction and preoccupation is felt as emotional distance by her child. And emotional distance is very distressing for her child. The child need connectedness with its primary caregiver at least. This does not mean that necessarily the primary caregiver is with the child physically all of the time. It is a mental condition. So the reverse is true too! That is that even when the primary caregiver is with the child physically, if they are “mentally somewhere else”, i.e., preoccupied and not connected mentally with their child then the child senses that distance and becomes insecure. The child’s only way to alert their mother to their need for connectedness is to cry. This complicates the picture further so the mother may also attribute some of her anxiety as what may be affecting her child, which she doesn’t realize is her mental distance and not just her worrying. Here too the medical misinformation, especially about ESP is critical in the mother being unable not only to resolve the problem, but to perceive the problem in the first place.
Having caused the mother a difficult five or ten minutes, the baby-sitter arrives and arrives in just enough time to allow the woman to get to work to attend her meeting. And of course if she gets to her meeting in time she will recollect at her workplace that her success in getting there on time was due to her trusty baby-sitter and a good feeling is created here too. Unbeknown to the mother the baby-sitter’s arrival is timed to occur just as the pedophile drives away because as soon as he sees the toxic baby-sitter’s car arrive in the street he starts up his engine and drives away. So as the baby-sitter enters the house the woman is just beginning to relax. This also means that any “take care” idea in her mind also vanishes as it is no longer relevant. However remember this is a presentation. It is not there because she is thinking it but because she is perceiving it! What happens is the baby-sitter has rung the husband and told him of her arrival. He then stops making any further presentation of the idea of “take care” or whatever idea he is using to trouble her. The woman only knows of the baby-sitter’s arrival and in enough time to get to work on time. She will feel relieved and happy as being late is no longer an issue. Relaxed she will again be connected to her child so her child will no longer be distressed. The woman does not know of any other issues so she may also attribute her child’s good cheer to the baby-sitter’s arrival too. If the baby-sitter can “spin her a good story” about how she had encountered heavy traffic and thus parked her car and caught taxi to get there on time, then she may make the mother very appreciative of the baby-sitter’s actions. In actual fact the baby-sitter possibly only parked a block away and waited in her care for ten minutes! Why would the mother not “pick up” on this? Because she is under fear conditions until the baby sitter arrives and to a lesser extent maybe even later, and fear disables her discriminative ability. And as the pedophile leaves soon after her bad feeling has evaporated so she is relieved and may even feel elated depending on any other ideas presented to her. The mother is focused on getting to work on time so she is more likely to feel that the baby-sitter “did not let her down”, which will enhance her good feeling. She may feel indebted to the baby-sitter and furthermore feel that she’s made a good choice in choosing her above the others. Thus she is made to artificially trust the baby-sitter. And remember the mother doesn’t have much time to sit and talk so very little needs to be said to her. The baby-sitter can be deceitful without being caught out. All the mother’s good feelings are especially enhanced when they comes after anxiety and a focus on her work commitments. And yet it is all trust where trust is not deserved.
It is important for non-toxic people to prove ESP and here is one additional and very important experiment that we can do. We can use a pedophile, and we may find one that is willing to do this experiment as some of them say they want to change so one of them may be willing. And a mother and child, together with a spouse or if divorced or a single parent then with someone they know well and for a long period of time, years. We can first do the experiment without relational entanglement, so that the mother has never met the pedophile. And we may also use a stranger in place of the spouse/ friend. This is our control experiment, in which the test condition of relationship is missing. Now we can do the actual experiment where we have relationally entangled the mother with the pedophile and the husband or close friend will be presenting ideas indicating danger. Thus in the actual experiment we use all related subjects. What we find is that initially the mother becomes distressed and if that distress continues in a relatively short space of time her child will become affected. Certainly a lot depends on the mother-child relationship so far. A child that is secure will take longer to react to mental distance than a child that is insecure. And here too I want to stress that for an non-toxic mother the insecurity in her child is NOT HER FAULT! And it cannot be rectified without her gaining knowledge of the situation. The insecure child may react almost immediately or in a very short space of time. Distance is frightening for a child, especially an infant. It is indistinguishable from neglect as far as a very young child is concerned. It is quite painful as it causes them insecurity and that is a cause for fear. If the child also becomes worried the net effect is anxiety in the child as well. A mother does not need to make effort to mentally connect with her child, she only needs to be unburdened of any foul game play. However if she is being harassed and troubled, she can take steps to make the necessary mental connection and hence overcome the problem for her child that her stress is causing but only when she is knowledgeable of how that harassing and troubling is brought about and the fact that it is troubling for her child.
The mother who is made anxious and/or depressed is “not at fault” because while ignorant of the foul play she is bound to react and react strongly. Her somatic reaction is normal under the circumstances, so she is affected against her will as it were. A common excuse used by toxic people, to discredit someone who might try and give advice to such a mother, is to say “don’t listen to her she is just trying to make you feel guilty”. It is a way that toxic people use to create discord between a mother who is experiencing difficulties in parenting and anyone who might try to advise them. And in ignorance of the truth it sticks because the mother cannot see that she is doing anything wrong so will feel that she is being made to feel guilty for nothing. The mother is NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG! Reacting to danger and trying to figure out a problem are not actions that can be classified as “doing something wrong”. They are normal reaction that anyone and everyone would do in those circumstances, whether they are a parent or not. There is a big difference between doing something wrong and reactivity that causes distress in the child. Only with knowledge can the mother resolve the problem and resolve it even in the face of maltreatment. She can consciously reconnect with her child and do so repeatedly if need be but only when she understands the problem that toxic people create. Making her feel guilty by suggestion is just another way to keep her in ignorance and there is a purpose. By affecting the mother the toxic mob can affect her child as to create latent tendencies that can be used to lead to toxicity. To affect the mother, she must be kept ignorant or at least in doubt of the foul play. Only when she can be affected sufficiently badly can the evil people affect the child. And remember too the toxic people who will try to put distance between her and anyone else that tries to advise her will do so with a friendly face and as someone sympathizing and understanding the mother’s problem but claiming it to be just how some children are”. So they will look to “take the mother’s side” and make her feel that they are her allies when indeed they are the bitter enemy! This is once again why hearing what someone else has to say is not enough. You need to do the research for yourself. You need to be in that situation in an experiment to appreciate all the aspects of the foul play. How you can be affected, how you can discover the truth and how you can overcome that affect. Lay people need to do these experiments because doctors will never do them. It is not in their interest to do them.
Once a toxic baby-sitter has entered the mother’s life and becomes trusted all manner of harm can be done. I have used this example in order to develop it later with the posts on heart disease. The foul play is intended to adversely affect the mother over the long term, typically years. This means the mother is affected over a long term. And it can be done effectively because people in different areas, seemingly unrelated areas can be involved. There are toxic people in all walks of life. They constitute possibly around 15-20% of the population so reality is that at least one toxic person could be found at her work. And the husband would be able to find this out and make contact through his network. So all sorts of games can be played as for instance to align events such as the woman’s arrival at work, to be a way of saying “who’s arrived” and of course this is a general comment it doesn’t say who so “it” is. It would be made to mean the pedophile at her home as well. The woman may “sense” something wrong but of course she has insufficient information. All she knows is that she is being violated so she will get angry and justifiably. However her anger is also a shift in her body’s metabolism and therein lies the problem, not only in the distress that she feels and which affects her child but in the creation of heart disease too as I will discuss in coming posts.
Over time she will begin to try to resolve the problem or at least understand why. This adds worry to the emotional mix, which means she develops an anxiety that is based on anger and worry. And as there is an underlying fear for her child there will be fear, anger and worry.. a very bad mix. She will be unable to function properly as a parent. Parenting is already a very hard job but with anxiety on top of that it becomes a near impossible job. She will be mentally absent as far as the child is concerned and anything she does in trying to organize herself and fit into a schedule will mean unreasonable demands on the child. All this adds to the problems the child faces. The physiology of the child is thus inadvertently affected.
A maltreated stay at home mum is also affected by more directly as the anxiety that she may feel is directed at her through the presence of toxic people/ or CGIs that are in the neighborhood. So her physiology too will be moved away from rest. Again the child is affected. In one case I saw that the toxic people were brought into the home as “mates”
This can be done during the day but a common time is bed time. The child becomes anxious or cries when left alone in their room to sleep. I have seen several cases where infants and young children cried without the mother being able to pacify them and in all of these cases I saw the husband as a nice guy who was supportive of his wife and sounded totally credible in his concerns only to find out years later that in all cases these “nice guys” were indeed toxic. Their aim was to “use” a decent woman to bring up toxic children. And while they failed with some of their children they succeeded with at least one. So the wife ended up having not only a poor relationship with some of her children but one in which the child was later seriously harmful towards her. In a couple of cases I have seen the woman develop breast cancer when the children were 7 or 8 years old and die. The man was then able to train his toxic children in the ways of being evil ”without interference”.
So IN SUMMARY, a woman who is maltreated by her husband (or vice versa) for the sake of “manipulation and control” is unable to properly relate to her children. A parent with an irresolvable issue or issues cannot avoid emotional reactivity (such as fear, worry and/or irritability or anger) and possible emotional flatness or depression. Furthermore there is always the appearance of a coping habit when a person is trying to deal with an inexplicable situation. Being preoccupied, a maltreated parent becomes distant, which is a state of affairs experienced as intolerable by a child. Children need to feel their connectivity with their parents not only in the physical sense but through relationship and that means through insightful means –the very means which modern medicine denies and even allows to be treated as symptoms of madness. And I am not talking here about a day or two’s bout of depression or anxiety or irritability etc. I am talking about problems that are relentless; often extend over many months and even years. Calling a person’s emotional reactivity or depression a mental disorder means the maltreated parent is unable to find a proper solution. Drugs only paper over the problem. As a result they cannot be fully present as to partake in any relationship in a bona fide manner.
Distance is most often due to one or more of five basic factors.
- a strong coping mechanism,
- depression or anxiety.
- Loss of motivation
- A loss of affect (emotional flatness).
In the case of the coping mechanism such distance does not only manifest with a person who becomes inactive (LMCM) but also with a person who becomes excessively active (EMCM). Children experience a parent with either coping habit as being unresponsive, inappropriately responsive and/or relationally cold. And while an adult can occupy themselves in some way if their partner is not responsive enough, a child is not so readily able to do so. A child needs a responsive parent and the absence of mental contact and interaction is felt as a serious lack and as deeply dissatisfying to say the least. Many children will feel insecure. It makes the child anxious because unlike an adult, an infant or young child is completely dependent for their survival on their parent or caregiver. And it must be appreciated that the child’s perception is insightful not just of the sensory type! A parent’s attention or lack thereof is insightfully perceived by the child, so no amount of physical contact is enough when a parent is not able to be mentally present. If mental distance is severe enough it translates out to emotional coldness in the relationship. In the case of the maltreated parent, no matter how hard they try to relate to their children they fail to establish a good bond because no amount of physical contact can compensate for the mental distance. Only with knowledge and an understanding of ESP and the role it plays in relationship can they rectify the problem.
We can do a very simple exercise to see the effect of mental distraction and preoccupation in the mother on the child. If we engage a mother in conversation and in such as way that is demanding on her thinking so that she is confronted with complex questions to answer for example. We hold her attention and for a short space of time she is caused to think only of what she needs to say to answer the question or questions. If she is sufficiently preoccupied we find the chid becomes distressed.
If we then have the mother try to continue to think of her child throughout the questioning and we aid the process by asking her simple questions then we find that it takes a lot longer to distress the child.
The mental connection of a mother to her child, in the normal course of events does not have to be done consciously. I have suggested that in the exercise above so that we create the right test conditions. It makes us appreciate how badly a child can be affected when their mother is maltreated enough over time as to be mentally preoccupied so much that her normal mental bonding with her child is broken or very weak.
To be effective as a parent a woman or man needs to be able to experience a state of rest and that mean proper body function. Most importantly the maltreated parent cannot remedy the situation without knowledge and is most certainly further obstructed by medical misinformation. Science denies the mind as a non-physical entity. ESP is clear evidence that the mind is a common ground on which we all partake. As a result the mental connection that is essential for bonding is denied because mental activity is reduced to mere brain activity, which is only in one’s brain. Extra sensory perception that is a fundamental part of any relationship and much more so in a close relationship is denied by doctors.
What happens in the child’s body?
A maltreated mother cannot overcome her problems without knowledge, so more and more problems develop for the child. A child feels the mental distance as neglect. Whether it is meant to be neglect or not doesn’t make any difference from a child’s point of view. The fact that their mother is an innocent victim doesn’t change anything. A child who suffers distance reasonably concludes (from their point of view) that their parent doesn’t want to relate to them, that they are not worth of being related to; so over time the child will begin to feel worthless. Of course in most cases this is a long way from the truth, but from the child’s point of view, it rings true because it is based on their life experience. A feeling of worthlessness is disempowering and can produce more adverse affects in the body. Partly the loss of worth, like any loss, will generate sadness. Sadness means the child needs to cry and that not only affects the ways in which water is used in the body but it is also a condition that requires rest, which is triggered by the parasympathetic system (PNS). Sadness and the combination of fear and anger creates conflicting emotional states in the body, just like fear and worry. That means that body functions are in further and more serious conflict. If the maltreatment of the mother is bad enough, especially if she suffers ongoing anxiety, depression or diseases such as heart disease and in ignorance of the truth, she becomes unfit to parent properly and through no fault of her own. It is her body’s physicality that is affected. Mental distance is really a weak bond or a broken bond between mother and child. Medical people point to physical connectivity but that is not enough or even sufficient at all if the mental connectivity is absent or too weak. The weak /absent bond means the child becomes inescapably insecure. He or she is uncertain about their safety. It is not realistic from an adult’s point of view but this is matter needs to be seen from a child’s point of view.
Just to give you some example of how areas of health that are seemingly unrelated can be caused by basic insecurity in a child that is the direct result of the serious maltreatment of a mother by her spouse for the sake of power and influence. One important area is in the eyes and it may deprive a child, who has a perfect set of eyes, of good vision. It is worth discussing this as an example of how prolonged emotional reactivity in the body can generate problems and degrade quality of life. To understand why this is so, let us consider the actions that take place in the eye and the structures of the eyes and how they are required to work for good vision. The lens in the eye is pliable for accommodation of far and near vision. The manipulation of the lens occurs through the ciliary muscles on either side of it. The lens is flattened for far vision and thickened for near vision. In this way the body modifies the focusing power of the lens. The ciliary muscles are manipulated by actions of the SNS and the PNS to either flatten or thicken the lens.
When muscles and /or the nervous system are over active over long periods of time owing to enduring rather than transient emotional states such as fear, anger, worry and sadness, then the compensations for the ciliary muscles in the eyes can not be properly facilitated.
Another problem is that the shape of the eyeball may be affected. We see that when a person is very angry that their eyes may bulge. Owing to unnecessary long term tension on the muscles that ordinarily manipulate the eyeball for movement the shape of the eyeball may be affected; for remember that anger involves a rise in the energy producing processes of the skeletal muscles and these muscles are part of this musculature so are affected. If the shape of the eyeball is distorted then vision is affected. The reason is that a change in the shape of the eyeball affects the relative difference between the length of the lens to the distance of the lens from the retina at the back of the eyeball. We can also observe that a person who has anger and fear, or even anger, fear and a need to cry then there may be an increase in the fluids of the eyeball. All these and other possible outcomes may result in vision problems. So a child (or adult for that matter) may need to wear glasses when their eyes have really nothing wrong with them. If they were not suffering as a result of the maltreatment of one parent for the sake of the other parent gaining power and influence, then that child would not experience any vision problems at all. One has to wonder how many eyeglasses would be sold if there was no maltreatment? We may be talking about 50% or even a great deal more of business would be lost. Even in Australia alone we are talking many millions of dollars. So an industry thrives on the maltreatment of people, including children
When unsatisfactory relational conditions cannot be address and continue to exist, one of a child’s most basic needs remain unmet. When needs remain unmet they can become demands. In addition to this the child‘s ways of trying to remedy the situation, as for instance in becoming over-active (hyperactive) or under-active (hypoactive), or excessively naughty, are seen and treated as an abnormality rather than indicating something wrong in the relationship between the mother/father /caregiver and the child. Again from the child’s point of view their efforts to get relief for the insecurity /fear that they feel are not only not met, in many cases they are punished for their behavior as well. This means that the child begins to feel that they are being violated or at least that they are facing some injustice. From the parent’s point of view the matter appears to be misbehavior because they do not perceive the real problem. And I remind you that I am talking about non-toxic parents. Toxic parent are deliberately neglectful and deliberately violate their children in order to generate latent conditions that can be used to lead the child to toxicity/ evil. This is part of their recruitment program. They want their child to become “one of us”. A non-toxic parent would not violate their child. The problem is not in the woman’s capabilities as a parent but in the fact that they are already loaded up with issues and this has nothing to do with psychology. It is their body that is modified and held away from rest that is the problem. Parenting becomes a difficult chore and no longer a joy as it ought to be and as they have a right to experience. Even when their irritation or anger never spills over onto the child, it will still affect the child because it leads such a parent to take action that seems reasonable to them but which is not good for their children. They may for instance attempt to bring matter under control to lessen “their load” and thereby the stress that they are experiencing –that is the bodily malfunction. So they may create rigid schedules, a greater degree of control over a child’s behavior or activities and other such demands on the child all of which may cause a child to become ineffective and/ or unable to stand up for themselves or may become even more fearful for their life or alternatively may become aggressive and violent to compensate. A child that feels neglect is less able to cope with a parent’s irritability or anger and may become more easily hostile towards their parent. All of this means higher metabolism, more energy producing processes in the child’s body.
The most important point to note thus far is that the conditions that create problems for the child are not one off events or traumatic events or even problems that may surface from time to time. They are conditions that are ongoing on a daily basis and often over years. Thus the bodily reactivity is ongoing and we are talking changes in the body as a whole, not just in the brain. Psychiatrists insist that these problems, both for the child and the mother, are mental disorders and essentially that means they consider them as brain malfunctions. This is also based on the belief that many biomedical scientists uphold and that is that the brain is a controlling unit. There is nothing that has been found in the brain that acts as a controlling unity of any sort. The problem has more to do with “neural pathways” that are reinforced time after time for thousands and thousands of times. These pathways are none other than the person’s reactions to life’s situations, their experiences. The only real solution can only come from an understanding of the nature of maltreatment of a parent and the effects that has for a child. In not understanding the underlying problems that exist, and in trying to address what appears to be the problem by punishment or control of some sort or even “behavior modification” as prescribed by therapists, unwittingly such solutions become violations. And while the child may appear to conform they will become more devious in their misbehavior.
The child is looking for what we commonly call “emotional comfort” and which ever way it is going to get it will do as far as the child is concerned because their need is great. This is yet again why knowledge is so important and why non-toxic people need to discover the truth for themselves. It is no good taking someone else’s opinions and experiences without discovery. The best meaning pediatricians who have had a dozen children of their own write books on parenting but if they have never been maltreated they have not seen the problem, they understand nothing! All of their good advice amounts to naught when it comes to these problems. Only your own research and discovery empowers you.
The child that experiences fear is already experiencing a heightened metabolism, i.e., their body is producing more energy than they need. The excess energy is felt as heat, unless they become hyperactive. Hyperactivity is just a child’s attempt to burn the extra energy so that it doesn’t end up as heat.Hyperactivity is a form of self-medication, however hyperactivity has drawbacks and one key one is attention is affected. If we now add anger to this then we have an added hike in the energy production. On top of all that the child that utilizes an EMCM will have even more energy production going on in their body and furthermore a coping habit is really all about affecting attention adversely. So not only is their hyperactivity a problem, their coping habit adds to the problem. Not being able to address this problem leads to frustration and more anger.
So we can see that we have two broad classes of children that suffer from insecurity owing to distance and emotional coldness in their relationship with their primary caregiver. One is the one in which the child feels insecurity, which is low grade insecurity. This group are able to utilize a coping habit as to overcome the problem and that coping habit will be an EMCM. Of course a coping habit is not a good solution but the child isn’t to know that. This means the child may become inactive and may be seen to be shy. However they will differ from a child that is withdrawn for other reason because in this case the child will also suffer from an inability to pay sufficient attention to tasks, most particularly the ones they find boring. This child then has learning difficulties. The other class of children with insecurity problems will have not only high grade insecurity but their efforts to demand attention will be met with some form of behavior modification, be it punishment or “go to your room” routines etc. This child will have a lot of extra energy and thus displays hyperactivity in an effort to burn up the extra energy to prevent it from becoming body heat. This child will also suffer from attention problems and possibly more so because they not only have fear conditions producing higher amounts of energy and an EMCM but also frustration that has led to irritability or anger. This means intolerably high levels of energy production. Their hyperactivity causes further attention problems. They may be characterized as having “attention deficit” and thus learning problems and the answer is simple enough to understand. If we become hyperactive then our brain has a lot of extra work to do in all the processes required in the body to sustain high levels of activity. So when the brain rationalizes its fuel materials, it will give preference to those areas required to sustain high reactivity. We can check this out even without brain scans. If you become hyperactive you soon lose the ability to do complex thinking and memorizing etc. We can gain insights during high activity such as running but that is a very different thing. If we use running as a form of meditation, then we will gain insights but that is not problem solving as in logical deductions and so on. If you start running and starting from one hundred and subtract an odd number say, seven each time, until you reach zero or below you will find a level of difficulty that is not present when you are sitting on your couch. The hyperactive child has that same difficulty. On top of that we need to consider that insecurity is an issue that incites fear in the body and fear means the thinking, reasoning part of the brain is temporarily disabled. Indeed it is disabled until we figure out what the issue is and how we can address it. If the problem is one of relational distance and coldness then the cause is not something the child can address and furthermore the child’s efforts to rectify it are most commonly misunderstood by a parent. And the medical information they have, especially that treats bonding being physical only, means that parent is denied information that can help them rectify the problem. Thus the child is left in limbo. It has a condition of fear and a temporarily disabled thinking ability that goes on and on. Furthermore we can see that this problem cannot be a neurodevelopmental disorder as the psychiatric profession proclaim because such children can learn when the subject is pleasurable to them. It is not that they can’t learn at all but they experience a high level of difficulty in mental functions because their body is not properly at rest since they are producing a whole lot of extra energy even when sitting still. To deny basic biology and to call this hyperactivity attention deficit disorder and prescribe drugs, some of which have seriously harmful effects, in my book at least, is nothing short of criminal. And consider too that these children are forced to take drugs for most of their childhood. Some go on to having ADHD even in adulthood so they are on a lifelong resume of drugs.
I would like to say something here about coping habits that lead us to comfort zones. Of the evidence that I have seen over the years I strongly suspect that coping habits do not only arise out of an individual’s desire to avoid unpleasant circumstances that are the result of maltreatment of some sort. I suspect that they also arise more fundamentally out of inequality of relationship and that is a very difficult problem to avoid. Partly because our own bias is already ingrained by the time we are adults and while ever we remain ignorant of how we cope we can’t change them. Where parenting is concerned, I would say there is a very fine line between equality and inequality even at the best of times. A parent has to balance up continually what is interaction with their child and what is guidance and protection. Is it possible to maintain full equality of relationship and still parent effectively? And how much does it matter? I can’t answer these questions at present and indeed I don’t know that there are universal answers. However I can see that inequality of relationship is unpleasant and does to one extent or another contributes to the formation of a coping habit. We can see this best in extreme cases. If the parent is too distant the child will become more aggressive and part of that aggression is certainly in making demands to rectify the distance they feel with their parent. Part of it will also be an attempt to distract their attention. And of course if the situation continues over time, then a part of it will also be due to irritation, anger, even rage. Thus the EMCM develops. If on the other hand the parent is too overbearing then the child will become more withdrawn. This child looks to curb the interaction with his or her parent because they become overwhelmed with each interaction. If it is difficult to curb that interaction then lethargy may develop which is really a state similar to the early stages of sleep where the attention is lowered. Here the LMCM will develop. In extreme cases it is obvious but everyone has some coping habit. At least I have not met anyone who has no coping habit. How we relate and what the quality of that relationship, that is to say how pleasurable or otherwise we find the relationship are critical factors but may not be the only factors.
We must remember that a child cannot change an adult’s behaviour. And a maltreated parent, who is lacking knowledge of what they are up against, can’t rectify the situation either. And the conditions are also not rectifiable where the parents are both toxic because toxic parents see the damage in their children as a bonus, a form of recruitment into the same sub-culture as themselves. Furthermore some of their children will become victims of their power games and thus be weakened in ways that leave them vulnerable to further victimization both in childhood and adult life. In a divorce situation the toxic ex-spouse will be involved in foul game play to take revenge on his ex- partner. To do this they remain friendly to glean whatever information they can from the ex-spouse, her friends and relatives, the children and even her neighbours. To gain an unfair advantage they get someone from their network to become a new “wonderful friend” for their ex-spouse. And such a person can be a complete stranger to the ex-spouse. This person is then used as the relational contact through which any number of problems can be created.
And the statistics tell it all. About 60 to 65 percent of women and around 25 to 30 percent of men are far worse off six to seven years after a bad marriage than they were during the marriage. This is due to foul game play that affects every aspect of the ex-spouse’s life and without any consideration given to the effects on the children. Indeed they see those effects as a bonus. A toxic person will not tolerate any opposition to their will and they do not get simple revenge in one or two incidents. They cause ongoing harm and the harm that as a result befalls their children is seen as good for them. They will look to take out all stops to make the children toxic or more prone to victimization if they are non-toxic. And any toxic person, parent included sees all non-toxic people as the enemy so they are not considerate of any non-toxic child, not even their own when the truth be known. They can then use those children that become toxic to further tyrannize their ex-spouse as a form of vindication. All this means that the children end up in a pressure cooker so to speak.
A child that is experiencing adverse interpersonal conditions and who is fearful, anxious, angry and frustrated will try to remedy their situation. So we need to look at how the child tries to resolve their physiological problems. And how they can be targeted by toxic adults using toxic children in the recruitment game. So in the next post I discuss how toxicity or “being evil” is developed in the child, to the best of my knowledge. I have only what toxic people have told me and my own observations to go on. I have been told a great deal by some toxic people but of course they did not expect that I would survive to tell others.